A few weeks ago, my Pastor from church was preaching about “Thou shalt not covet” – one of the Ten Commandments.
He said that it was not one of the most talked about commandments but was nevertheless very important and so easy to break. He gave the following analogy. He said that if he was caught reading a “Playboy” magazine in his office, it would be a scandal! But if he was seen reading “Kitchen and Bed” magazine, nobody would bother. But to him, reading the magazine about Kitchens and “coveting” for that dream kitchen that one’s neighbor has is just as bad. This got me thinking about how to prevent myself from coveting for “stuff”.
I think this is especially important because overspending and buying things we cannot afford is one of the main reasons we get into debt, both as individuals and as a nation. I’m also quite passionate about this subject because my kids are always asking me to buy stuff. Sometimes they expect to buy a stuff animal toy just because they visited the zoo, or they want a batting glove when they join spring baseball.
Off course, everyone, including myself have fallen for this, coveting for stuff. Here are some of my thoughts on this and how not to fall into this trap.
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Buy only what you need
The first concept I thought was that we should only buy what we need. This sounds ridiculously simple but the concept is easily violated. Here’s a few examples. My kids have lots of soft toys (especially animal stuffed toys we get from the zoo). By the way, we’ve stopped buying stuff when going to such places. Last year, my son says he wanted a baseball batting glove (everyone on the team has one). Well, he hardly had a hit the whole season, though his team won the championship. My son also keeps wanting to buy “new soccer balls”. (The kid with the fanciest soccer shoes was the worst player on the team by the way!)
In these examples, you can see that we buy things we simply do not need at the end of the day. So, here’s rule #1: Buy only what you need. Not more, not less.
Buy only what is functional
There is never a need to buy the latest stuff. Even if you want to buy an iPhone, you don’t need the latest model if you are not going to use up all the memory! Most folks do not need the latest Intel Duo Core chip in their computers because they will never need such processing power, but they still buy them anyway. If you are into video editing, then perhaps you could justify spending on the Apple Mac Pro with tons of extra RAM!
Over the weekend, I was taking a friend from abroad to an Outlet mall. He went inside a Prada shop to check things out. I saw a very nice winter coat. It cost $770 on sale! It was a very nice coat, but will it really keep me warm in freezing weather? I don’t know! It’s a Prada, not a North Face? I also know several folks who do not play the piano well, but they bought a grand piano for their house anyway. Their kids take piano lessons, but they are certainly no maestros that warrant a Steinway! Perhaps an electronic piano or even a second hand piano would have served the purpose.
Earn the right to better stuff
My son recently asked me if he could get a “first base” glove if he played first base in this Spring’s baseball! My answer was a firm “NO”. Once again, I had to explain to him that wearing a “first base” glove was not going to make him a better player. In fact, I told him that he had to earn the right to get one. That means lots of practice and if he gets into his high school or college team, then he would probably have earned his right to get the right gear.
Same goes to the grand piano example. If an aspiring pianist has made it and is a professional, then he or she has earned the right to get a grand piano. In fact, you would even say that it is a necessity then. If a college student has excellent grades and has a gotten a job with a top law firm or something equivalent, then he or she has probably earned the right to a slightly “more expensive but stylish” working attire. A chef (who happens to cook at lot at home) probably has earned the right to good or even high end kitchen equipment because he will make use of them to the fullest. Ordinary folks like us who can hardly make a scramble egg properly should settle for the most affordable gear.
Do Not Go To The Mall Just For Sales and Discounts
Most of the time, it never pays to buy stuff just because they are on sale or on credit. Sales are always designed to stimulate impulse purchases. Furniture stores and car dealers are always offering 0% financing deals (sometimes as long as 24 months!). Here’s the thing – if you cannot pay in cash, you cannot afford it! Very often, I find myself tempted to buy something I would never have bought because “it is on sale!”.
Make use of sales, but do not let “SALES MAKE USE OF YOU”.
Think about long run maintenance cost
Even if you could afford anything, thinking about long run maintenance cost is a good antidote if you are always coveting for the “best stuff”. Let’s use a mansion (or a huge house) as an example. Buying a new house is not cheap. Even if you could pay cash for a two million dollar home, it does not mean that is the end of the story. Your estate taxes will probably be about $1,500 a month (if you are lucky). Paying that every month is like paying a mortgage to me even if you have paid cash up front! Not to mention maintaining a garden, a pool etc. Getting the largest SUV is the same story. Unless, you “really” need it, the cost of gasoline could eat away at your finances. The same thing applies to expensive hobbies, or constantly buying tickets to sporting events. Buying expensive involves ongoing insurance cost to insure those valuable pieces!
Get rid of your credit card if it helps
It’s strange to hear this from me. But in my area of expertise, folks ask me if they should carry a credit card. My answer is that if it tempts you to spend more, then get rid of it. Use your bank check card instead. But if you have a business and you need one (like for example you have a business) then by all means get the best business credit card you can for your business. If you can use a credit card responsibly, a simple cash back credit card (like the one Peter uses) will save you money. But you know yourself on this one.
Slowly Change Your Concept of Happiness
Despite all these suggestions, I guess the only way to really stop coveting for stuff is to realize that material possessions do not make us happy. It can make life more comfortable, but they can’t make us any happier. To escape our consumerism culture requires a realization that spending time with your kids, having dinner with your spouse, talking to friends, watching a movie together will probably make you happier than all the “stuff” money can buy. We do not need the latest Wii game or Xbox. We don’t need the latest cell phone because our parents got along with none at all! We just have to learn to live simply and enjoy the simple things in life.
What are your thoughts on the how not to covet? What tips can you give? Tell us in the comments.
I am an impulsive buyer and I go to the mall when they’re on sale. I know material things are not important but sometimes It’s hard for me not to buy when I see something I like.I want to be debt free and your article has taught me a lot and made me see things in a different light. I hope I can change. Thanks. You are right some things we buy are really not important.
My bigger problem is coveting for my children. I always have some nagging guilt that if I don’t pay for this activity or buy this incredible curriculum (we homeschool), than my kids are going to be “behind”. Behind in what, I couldn’t say…
I don’t have any suggestions on how to not covet, but I do want to vent on how much we desire things. I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but somehow a great divide has sprung up from the generations that lived in the ’30s, and today’s day and age. Things things things…that’s what we work for and seem to live for.
I pray that the Lord would help me be content with what I have, like Paul!
I couldn’t agree more, and that’s the biggest challenge. I mean one must desire things in order to get what you want.
Work hard to create your own wealth and you’ll never need to worry about “coveting” anything.
Great thought process. Thanks.
How so? How can creating wealth through a business keep you from coveting? I don’t get it. Thanks.
Agree. Having and spending money doesn’t mean a person is not being covetous, it just means that it is easier to purchase the things that appeal to us at that moment. People with plenty of money could also give that money to people in need instead of buying that gorgeous designer coat, or new shoes or an expensive meal…
Good David, I’m Ricardo Stevens . Great opinion men, I’m a young men that’s willing, able and eager too better myself as a person, worst case scenario is that I’m working in retail. And by that i mean i see wealthy people every second off my life, and seeing fancy cars customers are driving, the kinda shopping, it’s crazy not to Covet. And i found myself alot coveting, and i don’t have a clue as to how to turn my Covetousness, desireness, or my fantasy into a reality men, and I’m just aging, year after year finding myself doing the same job…
The only reason why i feel like sharing this personal part of my life, is due to your opinion. And i was just thinking that maybe you could advise a person like myself who faces such big challenges, I’d really appreciate it if it is possible though.
We see first hand an interesting view of consumerism. We’re in the estate sale service here in Chicago. It’s the most thriving market in the nation and growing… and it’s all about buying “stuff” and things [from others]. The good and responsible aspect about estate sales are that you’re passing along goods, recycling, and refurbishing, being “green”… instead of adding to the land fills. It’s pre-owned and already out there. Many beautifully made items (antiques) and at a fraction of the cost new. It’s a wise way to spend your money and be a good steward… especially if the above-mentioned points are also practiced.
Here’s my two cents on how not to covet…usually in the Bible (especially in the NT), we are not called to stop doing something without replacing it with something else.
For example, the Apostle Paul says to “put off” the old self and “put on” the new self. So, we can’t just “stop coveting” without replacing what we covet with something better.
The solution to coveting is a reorientation back to the Gospel – to see the glorious riches we have in Christ and to realize that he gave Himself up so we could have better riches!
“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.” 2 Cor. 8:9.
So, to stop coveting we put off the lies that “stuff” will make us happy and put on the truth that Christ is the greatest treasure and that He is our life – not earthly goods.
Amen to that and thank you for that reminder, it spoke to my spirit
Great post, Mr. Credit card. This is an area where I’ve grown a lot during adulthood but am not totally evolved.
The more I focus on my spiritual journey the less I want “stuff”.
Bucksome
I find myself coveting for some stuff and not for others. For example, I do not care about clothes too much but once in a while, I keep “researching about plasma tvs” hoping one day I’ll get a great one to immerse myself in a movie! (ah – already trying to justify!)
My Pastor always preaches the theory that you don’t covet what other people have, especially since you don’t know what they had to go through to get it. Several major points surfaced for me: earn the right, consider if you need it, and know for sure that you can maintain it. You always have to be realistic in coveting materialistic items. Bottom line, money and material possessions don’t buy happiness, joy and peace of mind. Those are priceless. My advice: before you covet, think more than twice. The price may not be worth it.
Hear me out when I say this because something has compelled me to come here. Get the kid a first base glove. If he made the position of first base then he has earned that glove. What if he wins a trophy for playing baseball will you say that the trophy will not make him a better person and is not needed and he must give it away? It’s earned NOW right? Well so is a simple baseball glove for making the position.
I salute your attempts at being one who does not covet. But you’re going about it the wrong way. I know you’re going about it the wrong way because I’m well equipped with my God given intuition. You’ve diluted the whole subject with over thinking. You thought to much about coveting until you went to far with it. And you’re letting something else get the best of your reasoning. You’re not helping your son covet by giving him the glove. In that case you’re teaching him reward and helping him build a desire to accomplish his goals. You’re on the right track with saying we must earn it. But don’t make it a challenge. Realize we can easily ‘earn’ the things we need. Having the position of first base was enough for the glove. Wanting the glove with no good purpose, such as because his favorite baseball player has one is NOT ok. THAT is coveting.
So I was reading the Bible tonight. Well anyways I decided to look up the Ten Commandments. I decided to read them because I want to start following them a little better and really learn about. Well then I came upon the tenth commandment and started to realize just how much I find myself wanting the greatest NEW thing because I had the mindset that this is the best thing and I simply need it. Because nothing else will work if I don’t have this. Sometimes even telling myself I wouldn’t become successful if I didn’t have this or I will be the happiest person if I had the next best iPhone or whatever it may be. I even would compare myself to others and wish to be as in shape or have as many friends as them. Which I had a feeling was bad. But I didn’t really think it was hurting my relationship with God. Now I realize it is hurting my relationship with him. First off by not completely following the tenth commandment all the time. Also because I was waisting time thinking about that stuff then thinking about God and I was basically disrespecting what he gave me. Which I am so greatful for but I haven’t shown it. This article helped me realize a lot of this and what I need to do to be a better person, happier, but most importantly grow my relationship with God and be grateful what he gave me.
I’m 55 and now disabled ,All myife I’ve wanted to buy a home now more than ever .I want the security of knowing I have s place to live and want my now grown children to have that sense of security if ever needed Does that mean I covet it? I don’t want to disobey God’s commandments ,what do you think
I don’t think so
Being content and grateful. Planning to make room for valuable things that may increase our strengths and allow us to strengthen our weaknesses. Functionality according to our purpose is a good focus.
In this day and age there are so many temptations and having stuff is one of them. My rule of thumb when shopping is “ Do I need it or do I just want it “ this helps me stay focused on my needs . Learning to be content with what I have is key!