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Middle Class Anxiety
In his book A Millionaire’s Common Sense Approach to Wealth, Dexter Yager introduces a concept he calls ‘middle class anxiety’.
Here is how Yager suggests you can diagnose someone with middle class anxiety:
- Continually worrying about appearing ‘upper class’
- Feels the need to impress people specifically by the quality of items in the home
- Horrified at the thought of appearing middle class
- Focuses on appearing as if you have achieved something
- Fashion choices are made based on impressing instead of comfort
- Vocabulary is used to elevate status instead of communicate
Here is what Dr. Thomas Stanley at the Affluent Marketing has to say (as quoted in Yager’s book):
the true financial goal of most Americans is not to be rich, not to be affluent, not to be wealthy. The true goal is to appear affluent and seem wealthy.”
If we are honest with ourselves I think each of us could say to some degree we have middle class anxiety.
How To Deal With Middle Class Anxiety
Here are some suggestions for winning your battle against middle class anxiety:
- Read the book The Millionaire Next Door. The book highlights the true spending and lifestyle habits of millionaires. The habits are different than most people perceive.
- Determine why you would be most likely to go into debt. A known enemy is always less threatening than an unknown enemy.
- Know how to properly define your net worth.
- Keep a budget to be sure you are always spending less than you make.
- Talk to a friend or church leader. A healthy perspective can go a long way.
- Read your Bible. The Bible will continually remind you of why you are significant. It has nothing to do with the perception of others. As an example, read Psalm 139.
- Try something new. Remove some action you have been depending on for affirmation from people. Invite someone over and serve dinner on your regular dishes. You will find that genuine friends will not care.
- Be open with your spouse (if married). If your spouse is aware of what is happening he or she can be supportive.
- Give something away. You will find a greater joy in giving something than on depending on it for meaning.
- Pray. Confess to God your difficulty in releasing things. Through prayer God can make you more and more into his image.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14 NIV)
This is such a great post! Thanks Craig!
I can honestly say I suffered from this before I experienced a paradigm shift. Looking back it almost seemed as though all of my purchasing decisions were based on what others might think of me. I was blind to the fact that people who actually did have wealth did not showcase it, and those that did not flaunted their possessions to highlight themselves.
I’m glad it no longer matters to me what my car looks like. I am glad that my self worth comes from God rather than what others may think of me.
Brad @enemyofdebt´s last blog ..Have You Ever Had A DEBT FREE Christmas, And Will You Accept My Challenge?
I remember telling one of my church youth leaders once that we were middle class. She told me that was like saying you were poor. That stuck with me for a long time while I was in high school. However, partway through college (with credit card debt), I realized that I was falling into a trap. I had let this idea of being “poor” rule my spending habits. As a result, I was living beyond my means. I rethought my definition of poor, and decided that wealth was subjective; I could feel rich without having a great many material possessions.
Craig,
Thanks for a great dose of reality. The quote, “the true financial goal of most Americans is not to be rich, not to be affluent, not to be wealthy. The true goal is to appear affluent and seem wealthy” is a sad but true eye-opener. And that goal can sneak up on any of us. Thanks again.
Joe Plemon´s last blog ..My Decision to Start Social Security Benefits Early
Wow, I just heard a podcast this morning on a related topic that said the very same things. It was on thewhitehorseinn.com and discussed the emphasis amoung the young not of being good, but on appearing good (school, work, lifestyles, etc).
Here’s the link. It’s about 40 minutes but well worth the time as it gives so much insight as to our culture wide issues. Sorry if the link is so long in the event the html doesn’t work in this comment.
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